Okay, so this website of mine has been stagnant for awhile. Well not really, it’s all I’ve thought about for about the last 7 months or so, but as I know from my event planning career, all the magic happens behind the scenes.
What I thought would only take a few weeks, took a few months. And when it got to the point where I was able to launch ‘Inner Travel Agent 2.0’ website, I wasn’t 100% on the whole ‘connection’ piece. And I’m ALL about connection. Connection to myself, other people, the community, the environment, the Universe, my path, and obviously, my amazing coaching clients. So when I launched ‘2.0’, it just didn’t feel right and I didn’t know why. I just knew I wasn’t completely thrilled with it and it didn’t feel like the truest representation of me. All that work and the end result was an overall feeling of ‘meh’.
So I sat down and thought about how to fix it. After many hours of reading articles online, I soon remembered something I learned in my yoga training. It’s actually the very 1st Sutra which is all about ‘commitment’. In short, it recommends committing to making the change, and then finding someone who has gone through a similar experience who can mentor you. (It’s the same basic principle as A.A., and well, we know that program works for many people!)
Thus, I did something that is normally NOT in this control freak’s toolbox. It’s something that I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. The mere thought of doing it usually makes my throat tense up and become dry. My heart races, my eyes widen, and I often dress-rehearse doing it so that I don’t get scared and bolt in the other direction when the moment comes. And this was my moment, so I mustered up the courage and…
I asked for help.
And not only that, I paid for it.
Yes, I invested in myself and more importantly, this seemingly crazy dream of mine. It’s always hard to admit you can’t do it yourself and put your trust, energy, money, and faith into people you don’t know but you think/hope/pray can help you achieve your vision. But I did ask for the help. And I’m so grateful because again it worked. Turns out asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but is actually quite the courageous act. And damn, does it ever feel nice to exhale again.
The Life Coaching Process
As I wrote this blog entry I realized the parallels with life coaching – the reaching out and asking for help from someone you don’t know. I’d say 90% of people are hesitant to hire a life coach and trust me, I get it. When I first learned about coaching I was like ‘yaaa right, like this person can help me figure out my hot mess of a life and get me on a better path.’ I mean, I went to a ‘certified Doctor Therapist person’ and I really didn’t get much out of it other than reaffirming that I’m not a sociopath. So if they couldn’t help me, why in the hell would I trust someone without a ‘Dr.’ in front of their name to help me? My whole life has been about trusting science, and doctors, and hard facts, and it’s gotten me pretty dang far in life (and actually saved my life which is why I am a huge proponent of it – more on that later).
But this time, science wasn’t working for me so I had to look elsewhere for help. Then I remembered another key component of the yoga sutras which basically reads ‘if something is working for you, keep doing it. If it’s not, try something else!’ So that’s what I did…I tried out coaching and thankfully, it was the answer I was looking for. It worked for me because in therapy I felt like I was being pigeon-holed into a box built by old textbooks, theories, and statistics. And since I didn’t ‘fit’ that box, there were no real solutions for me. There was no textbook diagnosis so my Doctor said ‘I’m not sure how we can help you’. Now, I’m not saying therapy doesn’t work as a general rule, not at all. It works brilliantly for a lot of people, It just didn’t work for me personally.
The simplest way to describe the difference between therapy and coaching is that therapy digs deep into the past to untangle childhood issues etc., and coaching looks at where you are now and where you want to go. Yes, we’ll dive into the past a bit to figure out what’s holding you back, but after that coaching is all about moving you steadily forward towards your vision/goals, whatever they may be. What I love about coaching, is that it’s all about YOU as an individual vs. a cohort. It’s an exploration of who you are, what you really want, where you’re going, and what dreams and aspirations you have. Then with some simple structure, accountability, and planning we work together to get you to the end result.
You see, as a coach I don’t attest to knowing the answers. Instead, I believe YOU know all the answers – I just ask a shitload of questions that help uncover the truth and thus, the answers you’re seeking. Kinda like peeling back the layers of an onion to get to the core. A lot of these questions aren’t for the faint of heart. They’re questions that often you don’t want to ask yourself because, well, you’re scared. Scared of what you’ll uncover, what the answers might be, and then even more scary – what you’ll do about it….if anything. Because you’ve probably taken a peek into those deep, dark parts of yourself before and did what I would normally do – cut and run! That’s sooo much easier than facing your inner gremlins! So ya, I understand that trepidation. But having waded through those murky waters myself I’m now a skilled ‘hand-holder’ and trust me when I say it’s sooo worth it to do the work. The feeling you get from uncovering, nurturing, and speaking your truth really does set you free.
Basically, it’s why I became a life coach – when I find something awesomely juicy and rewarding I wan to share it with as many people as I can. And now, I found the career that lights me up by simply helping others live a life of freedom, joy, and ease. And my gawd, there’s just no better feeling than that.
Want to learn more? Connect with me here.
Until next time…